"Israel frees head of Al Shifa hospital because Hamas megabase isn't real, after all" by Laura

 

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Source: Normal Island News

	Israel frees head of Al Shifa hospital because Hamas megabase isn't real, after all It only took them seven months to make this decision JUL 1   READ IN APP   Israel has generously released the director of Al Shifa hospital after jailing him for only seven months without charge and feeding him only bread. I’m told the short detention and quick release was due to Israel being The Only Democracy in the Middle East™. It’s understood this is the fairest legal, um, detention process thing since Julian Assange was allowed to plead guilty of journalism after five years in solitary confinement. Israel had detained Mohammed Abu Selmia because he was guilty of running the hospital they’d pretended was a Hamas base so they could kill the patients. Worryingly, the doctor was witnessed saving civilians who had been designated for genocide, easing the suffering of horrifically injured children, and upholding his Hippocratic oath. Even worse, there was huge concern that refugees were staying on hospital grounds to evade Israel’s bombs. Clearly, a solution had to be found, and that solution was super-credible allegations, mass arrests, and more murder. Israel was so confident of Abu Selmia’s guilt, they brought him to court three times without charging him or allowing him access to lawyers. The Israeli ambassador has confirmed any objection to the lack of due process can only be down to Jew hatred. I refuse to believe you care about “justice” because you are a decent person who wants everyone to be treated fairly, regardless of ethnicity. Personally, I don’t see how anyone can be harsh on Israel when absolutely no one could have predicted the twist that was to come. After the unimaginable human suffering and attempts to plant evidence that fooled no one outside of Israel, it turned out the teleporting Hamas megabase probably did not exist, even though Mossad drew a diagram of it. Don’t worry though, David Cameron says we’re fine to continue sending weapons to the hospital bombers. Israel has sensibly updated international law so any tyrant can claim a hospital is being used for military purposes and turn it into a battleground. No longer will we have the scourge of hospitals healing our sick and wounded enemies. Thank god. Although the secret underground megabase that appeared to a Mossad agent in a vision probably wasn’t real, Israel says it will bomb the remains of the other hospitals, just in case it has teleported there. You can never be too sure with these things. Well, actually, I suppose you can… For example, daily rounds of torture meant Israel could be sure Abu Selmia wasn’t guilty of the thing they’d made up. This demonstrates there are clear benefits to torture. If the IDF hadn’t beaten the man all year in a failed attempt to extract false confessions, they wouldn’t have been able to release him so quickly, would they? Breaking his fingers, splitting open his head and setting dogs onto him were all for his own good. I understand Abu Selmia has been compassionately returned to Gaza for treatment for the injuries Israel gave him, in the rubble of one of the hospitals Israel destroyed. Honestly, he should be grateful he wasn’t one of the prisoners who had his limbs amputated. Israel’s nice guy, Itamar Ben-Gvir, was understandably furious about Abu Selmia’s release and insisted sparing doctors jeopardises Israel’s security. He has proposed shooting prisoners in the head to save time, but unfortunately, the IDF needs to save bullets for Lebanon which is experiencing a worrying surplus of hospitals. Israel has assured us that when it destroys Lebanon’s hospitals, the doctors will be given the same fair treatment Abu Selmia has received - and that is more than generous, isn’t it? Personally, I would love to be freed after seven months of false imprisonment and torture. I mean, who wouldn’t? Upon Abu Selmia’s release, western journalists were queuing up to ask the withered Palestinian doctor all of the right questions, such as will you condemn Hamas? And can you confirm Israel has a right to exist? Obviously, the journalists never affirmed Palestine’s right to exist because who gives a crap about that? x